She is My Little Girl
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She is gentle, yet fierce.
She is graceful, yet strong.
She is cautious, yet vivacious.
She is sweet, yet salty.
When God Gives a Girl A Brother...
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When God gives a girl a brother...
He gives her someone to play with—
someone to push cars with, to ride bikes with, and to dress up with.
And he gives her a hand to hold—
when she's afraid of the dark, nervous at the bus stop, or scared at the doctor.
Life With Two Toddlers Is Always An Adventure
/Life with two toddlers is always an adventure.
Rarely on the same page, one is often “here” while the other is simultaneously “there.”
One is wide awake, ready to play...
The other is fast asleep after an award winning fight.
One is jumping with excitement over a new idea...
The other is hysterical on the floor because of a different idea.
One is singing songs in a sweet, soft voice...
The other is screaming dissent as loud as lungs will allow.
One is ready to cuddle, snuggle and rest...
The other pushes away and is busy being alone.
One is hungry and sits properly to eat what’s been made...
The other refuses to touch anything that is offered.
One wants to play together and to share toys...
The other wants to do something else—in solitude.
One wants to throw and catch a ball outside...
The other wants to color neatly between the lines at a table.
One wants the vanilla flavor, the berry fruit, the purple vitamin...
The other wants the chocolate flavor, the banana, the blue vitamin.
Life with two toddlers is never predictable—except that it’s always different in every moment.
Rarely on the same page, one is often “here” while the other is simultaneously “there.”
But me?
While I often find myself silently praying they’d get in sync during those times I can’t possibly meet both of their needs, I am trying my best to always be right there in the moment—neither truly here nor there, but rather somewhere ever-presently and whole-heartedly in the middle.
"That's Normal"
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She says: I am nervous about giving birth.
Society says: That’s normal. Everything will be fine.
She says: I feel very scared to leave the hospital. I wish I could take these nurses with me.
Society says: That’s normal. You’ll figure it out.
My Little Girl: I Pray You Marry Someone Who Loves You the Way Your Daddy Loves Us
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My little girl,
You are too young to understand this now, but one day years from now you may find yourself looking for a man to marry.
And from now until that day comes I will pray to God above you’ll find someone who loves you the way your daddy loves me and who will love your children the way your daddy loves his.
A Prayer For My Children
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Dear children,
It’s hard for me to put into words the beginning of a lifelong prayer that is being written in my heart for you as each day I watch you grow goes by—but I am going to try.
The Baby Steps Are The Big Steps
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The baby steps are really the big steps.
My son stood in the sand—something not even that new to him—for quite some time.
From the outside, it didn’t look like he was doing much,
but on the inside, I knew that was far from the truth.
Motherhood Has Changed Me
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Motherhood has changed me.
I used to pride myself on my inability to sit still;
I identified with the need to move, think, and do— constantly.
And I continued to do so after my first born arrived...
until I kind of crumbled and just couldn’t anymore.
My Real Advice for A New Mom
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I always kind of cringe when I hear the question, “What is the best piece of advice you can give to a new mom?”
Every time, I try and think of the most profound and precisely put phrase of wisdom; yet, in the moment, I am almost never able to utter even a single word of clarity.
But, when I really think about it, I think it would be something along the lines of this:
recognize that this journey is the two of yours together—no one else’s—and that you really only get to do the dance once.
I Spent An Hour With a Friend Today
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I spent an hour with a friend and her children today—an hour I didn’t realize how much I needed until it was over.
It was already one of those days for both of us so we took our children to the park very early in the morning.
We helped them on the slides, we pushed them on the swings, and we watched them build a sand castle...while we talked about all the things.
I Know Mama, You Feel Like You Got Nothing Done Today
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I know, mama—you feel like you got nothing done today.
It’s almost bedtime, yet the beds are still unmade from the morning.
It’s past dinner time, and the dishes from breakfast are still in the sink.
Parents: Tell Your Kids How Much You Love Them
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Parents, tell your children how much you love them, why you love them, and that you will never stop loving them any chance you get.
Tell your children what you see in them on so many days and in so many ways that they have no choice but to see it, too.
Read MoreMaternal Mental Health Matters
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“Why do you need to go to therapy? You seem so happy! What do you even talk about there?”
When my seeing a therapist comes up in conversation, I am often met with comments like this.
I used to feel a shade of shame and embarrassment knowing the implication here was that “unhappy” people are the ones that need therapy… and yet, there I was, returning to sessions week after week.
But now, years—many years—later, I have shed the shame and replaced it with love.
Self-love. Love that runs through me and floods out to my children. And I am proud of that.
Read MoreA Moment In Time
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A moment in time.
In the moment, I wanted to cry.
I had just folded the clothes and put them away.
I had given the 10, 5, and 2 minute bedtime warning.
I was exhausted.
The Change Comes with Love
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It hurts my heart.
I go in your room when you are sleeping and I see the change.
The toys—the rattles are now cars to push, the mobiles are now books to read.
The crib—it’s not so bare now, it has your favorite lovey and stuffed animal to hold.
The clothes—they’re not so tiny anymore, they are longer and wider and the snaps are gone.
The Women I Work With Are Warriors of Love: They Are Teachers and They Are Mothers
/The women I work with are warriors of love.
The women I work with are teachers.
And they are also mothers.
By the time I see them enter school around 8am, most of them have already clocked in at least 3 hours of “work” at home.
They’ve fed the babies, they’ve cooked the breakfasts, they’ve packed the lunches.
They’ve dressed the children and then brought them to where they need to be for the day.
They’ve somehow managed to get themselves ready along the way.
They didn’t sleep at night, because, well… motherhood. They were up answering the cries for mom in the wee hours of the night or were tossing and turning either planning for or worrying about a laundry list of items pertaining to their kids.
And still, when the women I work with come into school, they continue to sprinkle morsels of kindness and patience over every other child they interact with.
Sure, their job is to educate, and of course that is what they do – but, in the hours of a school day, they do so much more.
They listen to children’s stories that seemingly never end with open ears, answer questions that have already been answered with open minds, and facilitate learning with tender precision.
They take care of children’s boo-boos with bandages and walks down the hall for water, their shaken egos with life lessons and inspirational stories, and their broken hearts with quality time and understanding.
They notice and care about the little details within the personalities, behaviors, and lives of each and every one of the children they work with so they can help them to learn in a way that makes sense for them and socialize in a way that feels comfortable for them.
They plan with special thought and care, they lead with diligence and meaningfulness, and they communicate with compassion all day long.
The women I work with do this while simultaneously still keeping their own children in the forefront of their minds.
They do this while thinking about all the things relating to them—what they are doing, who they are with, how they are feeling, what they are eating, what they need to do later in the day—all the things.
They do this and then return home to care for those children. They take them to their activities, they feed them dinner, they give them baths and read them bedtime stories—but most importantly, they become a soft place for their little babies (even those that are not so little anymore) to fall.
They listen to the stories of their children’s days.
They ask them who they sat with at lunch.
They problem solve the things that may be bothering them.
They comfort them when something is upsetting them.
They hold them as often as possible, tell them they love them over and over, and consciously try to stop amidst the chaos and enjoy every single moment they have together.
I see the women I work with come and go from work on leaves after having a baby, caring for a child or a family member, or grieving a terrible loss. I see the women I work with come and go from work each day carrying the invisible, emotional load from home and from work on their shoulders 24/7 – a “load” that holds the hearts of all the little (and big) people in their lives that they care for day in and day out.
I feel the women I work with come together to support one another in all of the ups and downs with hugs, prayers, and support in such an astounding way. They are all so busy constantly taking care of children that they often forget to take care of themselves; yet still, they never fail to be there for one another.
When I think of all that the women I work with accomplish in a day’s time – all of the physical and mental checks off of a never-ending list—I am truly amazed. But, within the four walls of our building, I see this truth: next to every strong woman is a group of other strong women holding her hand and encouraging her along the way.
The women I work with make the world go round… one child and one mother at a time.
The women I work with are superheroes. They are peacekeepers. They are enlighteners, they are listeners, they are supporters, and they are inspirers.
The women I work with are warriors of love…and of all things good.
The women I work with are teachers and they are mothers.
And I am grateful to know them.
Dear Husband: Hold My Hand Forever, Will You?
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Dear husband,
I love when you hold my hand.
Hold my hand forever, will you?
I don’t mean to never let go, because when our hands are apart they are creating our life; but, I do ask you to please, always bring your hands back to mine.
Dear Daughter: I Pray You Always See the Beauty in Your Reflection
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Tonight, my three year old daughter wore her Elsa AND Anna dresses with her way too big, dress-up, pink high heel shoes on the wrong feet, three beaded necklaces, seven fancy hair ties worn as bracelets that made their way half way up her right arm, and a super sparkly purse perfectly placed over her shoulder.
She commanded, “ALEXA, PLAY FROZEN!” and when her trusty friend obeyed, she went near her and whispered, “Good girl, Alexa. Let’s dance.”
Read MoreDear Mama in the NICU: I Pray For You
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Dear NICU Mama,
I pray for you.
I don’t know you, but I was in your place once before, even if it was for just a short time.
I sat there in that chair you know so well either holding my little love or staring through the glass walls that protected him when I wasn’t able to hold him.
I pray for you.
Read MoreI Am a Millennial Mom and I Call Bullshit on This Shame Game
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I am a 32-year-old middle-class, millennial mother of two and I call bullshit on this “millennial shame-game.”
According to many articles and memes that have recently inundated my newsfeed, there is an entire cohort of entitled, unmanageable, lazy, and narcissistic young people scuffing up the shiny gold standard of those who walked this Earth before them. And, apparently, I am one of them.
Now, I am not a politician, an economist, an analyst, or a sociologist studying the trends of generations. But, I am just like so many of you. I am a smart, well-educated, hard-working woman and a mother who loves her children more than anything else on this planet. And so, as I look back on my journey to where I am now and consider what I do every single day presently, I can honestly say that I would like to confidently and as politely as possible tell anyone who called me any of the adjectives listed above to please knock it off.
Read More