I gaze down at you while you dream and I can’t help but wonder:
Can I do this? Will I be a good enough mother for you?
You see, I’ve never done this before. I’ve never raised a son.
This is all new to me, and if I am honest, I’m pretty afraid.
There is a lot of talk out there about us—you and me, moms and their boys—to change the world, to make things better, to pave the way for progress in more ways than one.
And so, I’m afraid I’ll let you down along the way.
I am afraid I won’t be able to be all that you need me to be.
And here’s a little secret—sometimes I even feel a bit worried that because I don’t know this world from the perspective of a growing boy, I will make mistakes I couldn’t see coming.
I look at you and your tiny hand wrapped around my finger catches my eye—and then my thoughts:
I realize that you, too, have never done this. You’ve never had to “grow up” before. This is all new for you as well, and I know there will be times you’ll be afraid, too.
I am reminded that God chose us as mother and son to do this together and that he doesn’t expect—or even want—either one of us to be perfect all of the time.
God wants us to be our true selves and to love in every way we can.
And that, my boy, is something we can both do—together.
You see, though you were born to me, you are not mine to control—your life is your own to live and your choices will be your own to make. While you depend on me for most things right now, that will change over time and so…
I will continue to pray to God to lead me to the right steps that will help guide you to fulfill your life’s purpose and to show up for your life with love always.
And I will pray even harder that you will see me turning to God, asking him to show me the way, and listening to his answers—and that you will learn to do the same.
Because that, my baby, that is how we are going to do this—that is how we are going to do this, together.